Friday, November 21, 2008

All alone, late at night...

Well, before my run in with Bessie, I was going to tell y'all about the weirdest and best show on the radio. It's called Coast to Coast AM with George Noory. It airs in the middle of the night. And theres a reason for that.

This show is every crackpot, alien abducted, ghost hunting, conspiracy thorists' sounding board.

I started listening to this show because the guy who originally trianed me pointed it out. He thought it was hilarious. I agreed. So for about the first 3 months of delivering the paper, I listened to this every night. Each night has an "expert" on whatever topic. They usually have a book to sell, or a website to view. The thing is, for every alien abductee for me to laugh at, there is a JFK thoerist that I might really be intrigued by.

And that's how they got me.

I found myself not laughing as much. I began to think, "Wow, this dude might have a point". Or I would be really intrested in how the government is controlling the weather for its own nefarious reasons. Bigfoot could really exist. The Freemasons and Illuminati really are running the world. Chupacabra really were stealing babies. Mothman was real. That house down the street could really be haunted.

Then I saw it. And it changed my relationship with Coast to Coast.

I saw a ghost.

to be continued.......

Monday, November 10, 2008

Holy Cow....

So, I was going to use this post to follow up on my last post about Coast to Coast AM. But then this morning I had an........encounter.

In the year and a half that I have been doing this, I have come across my share of Nocturnal Creeatures. And I have run over most of them. (Look PETA, they are called accidents.) I have hit 3 deer and not killed a single one. Although my cars sport scars, its been ok. Nothing serious. I've run over squirels, I've clipped possums, and I even ran over someones cat. (The darn thing ran right out in front of me. Nothing I could do.) It lived as well. I had a run in with a bat that I will tell you about later. I even had a horse and rider appear out of nowhere, scaring the bejeebus out of me.

But this morning was a first.

I was about a dozen papers from the end of my route, Tokyo Drifting down the last dirt road. I'm leaning down into the passengers' floorboard to retrieve the last few papers, when something catches my eye. I look up just in time to see a cow strolling down the road. Do you remember the end of O Brother Where art Thou, when the cow goes floating by on top of the house? Now I know what George Clooney felt like. "Bessie" was just out for a midnight walk. Needed to clear her head, I suppose. I was so astounded, I had to turn around and follow the heiffer, just to make sure she was really there. Sure enough, there she was, with bells on.

I followed her back up my route, for about five minutes. I even tried to get a picture, but it was too dark for my cell to see her. She wandered off into some guys yard, to graze I guess, and I went about my way.

Then a thought occured to me. Should I call 911? Was someone looking for this cow? Did she pose a threat to any other cars out at 3 in the morning? Would the 911 operator laugh at me for thinking a runaway cow was an emergency?

So, I didn't call. I left Bessie to her thoughts and cud. A girl needs space, you know?