Thursday, October 16, 2008

I smell Bacon!

Being that I work in the middle of the night, there are usually few cars on the roads with me. This means that any police officer concentrates on me that much more than usual. Police officers patroling the Square are looking just for me, I swear.

During my first stint with the paper back in 2004, I ran my route for 6 months, and only spoke to one officer of the law. And he did not pull me over. I was already pulled to the left side of the road, tubing a paper. I sat and waited for him to pass so I could continue. He stopped beside me, and asked what I was doing. The 250 newspapers stacked in the passenger seat gave me away, and he told me to continue, but to "turn on your high beams." I had my high beams on until he was coming at me, and turned them off for his benefit. "Yes sir" I said. Encounter over.

Fast forward to November of last year. I began my second stint here at the paper. From November to March, I was pulled over 6 times. SIX TIMES! Granted, each time I was technically breaking a traffic law. But give me a break, it's 3 in the morning and I'm the only car on the street.

I'm sorry I made a right hand turn on a red light on the square. I did not see the sign, honestly.

I'm sorry I was doing 51 in a 35. I was in a hurry to get back to my bed.

I'm sorry I was doing 47 in a 35. I was in a hurry to get my route started. (So I could get back to my bed.)

I'm sorry I was doing 44 in a 35. I thought I could get up to speed too soon I guess.

I'm sorry again for doing 46 in a 35. Yes, sir, you have stopped me before. Thanks for remembering. No, sir, it will not happen again. Yes, sir, thank you for the warning.

This job is costing me money.

And since the March, I have not been stopped. That's not to say that I don't constantly disregard traffic laws. I just don't do it anywhere near the Square. Now, as I pass the MPD doing 33 in a 35, I just wave and hope he can't see that I'm not wearing my seat belt!

4 comments:

impeachedmagazine said...

Wow! how many tickets have you actually gotten while working this job?

Seth said...

I have been cited 3 times now, but since I'm basically on a first name basis with the officers, they have given me multiple warnings.

impeachedmagazine said...

You should keep donuts in your car to bribe them with.

Seth said...

I tried that. Don't ask me how I know, but Po Po on the southside prefer Moon Pies.